Highlight of the night

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
11/01/2018 at 00:03 • Filed to: Children are the future

This one rude, and incredibly large child. “Just one piece?” Just one, my wife replies. “Ugh... JEEEEZ.” He turns around and says, “I can’t believe we came all the way here for one piece.” The walkway from my house to the sidewalk might be 20 feet. Sorry about those calories you burned, tiny.

DISCUSSION (33)

CB > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/01/2018 at 00:11

I mean, you could have also told him Santa isn’t real.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > CB
11/01/2018 at 00:12

He could give Santa a brisk walk for his mon ey.

DipodomysDeserti > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/01/2018 at 00:18

Rude kid, but bro, one piece?

My highlight of the night was my one year-old niece being dressed as Ace Ventura. Laces out, Finkle!

Neil drives a beetle and a fancy beetle > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/01/2018 at 00:19

I honestly wish every house just gave out one piece. When I see people give 4-5 pieces to my daughter, I’m always surprised. She’s 4! how much candy do they think she eats? We didn’t even limit her today and I don’t think she ate more than 6 or 7 pieces throughout the whole night and that was her going wild with candy .

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > DipodomysDeserti
11/01/2018 at 00:21

We did multiple pieces but kids kept taking too many... One kid grabbed two handfuls after my wife said 2 pieces and the kid sprinted for his life.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Neil drives a beetle and a fancy beetle
11/01/2018 at 00:22

Yeah I always remember getting one piece. Some excellent, some filler, but it was free goddamned candy.

DipodomysDeserti > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/01/2018 at 00:28

Cavone...

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/01/2018 at 00:38

I gave 2 to the first 50, 1 to the next 15 and then was out.

Rationing is not my strong suite.

And obviously 20ish for me.

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/01/2018 at 00:42

I didn’t have anyone knock on my door :)

boxrocket > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/01/2018 at 00:51

What you should do ( preparation required) is have a stock of candy corn and/or that nasty-ass peanut butter toffee or whatever in those orange or black cheap wrappers, and - while looking into the eyes of the ungrateful snot-nosed ingrate - drop a big handful of the stuff gradually into their bag, such that the last few pieces fall in dividually from your palm. You smile, deadpan, and say, “Trick or treat” before smoothly closing the door in their stupefied face.

whatisthatsound > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/01/2018 at 00:53

I always give the little kids as much candy as they can hold. They radiate pure joy, like jack skellington himself delivered halloween.

TheHondaBro > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/01/2018 at 00:54

The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/01/2018 at 00:59

You should have told him “I hope S anta poops in your stocking you little brat.”

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > boxrocket
11/01/2018 at 01:09

I'm totally handing out bags of candy corn next year

boxrocket > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/01/2018 at 01:22

I actually don’t mind candy corn - especially the chocolate and caramel varieties - I just get bored with it before any amount larger than a few handfuls is able to be consumed. However a lot of folks don’t seem to like it. I’m also the weirdo who’s OK with Necco wafers and those strawberry things with the gooey insides.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/01/2018 at 01:35

Give him a really big piece of chocolate in a couple hours....Teach him some damn manners. Screw entitlement.

ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/01/2018 at 01:44

Back before we had the head of household security and could give out H alloween candy, my requirement of giving out more than one piece was a kid having an answer for what the trick was. This obviously only applied to kids closer to or beyond the double digit age range , but I’d ask them what the trick was to trick or treat. Most kids looked like a deer in the headlights. Any kid who had an answer, any answer, for that question got hooked up with all the candy.

shop-teacher > DipodomysDeserti
11/01/2018 at 03:55

That's awesome!

hedbutter > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/01/2018 at 06:58

We always buy the “Fun” size candy and just tell the kids to take a handful. 70% take one piece, 20% take two pieces, 5% take until their adult says no, 5% take two big handfuls. Our numbers range form an all time low of 3 last year, to around 10/12 this year, so I prefer the multiple piece grabbers so my (terrible) self control isn’t tested for weeks after. There’s also the 1% of kids who get a handful before their parents catch them and apologize with a “Damn it now this is my problem look”.

The winner of the night was the dad carrying a personal cooler with a beer in a coozie. Makes me feel like my idea of sitting outside (if its nice) and giving jello shots/beers to parents may actually work.

The Dummy Gummy > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/01/2018 at 07:15

You’re a monster.

The Dummy Gummy > DipodomysDeserti
11/01/2018 at 07:16

I’m still trying to figure out why this made a huge showing this year. There were so many that dressed up like this. Was it a meme lately or something?

The Dummy Gummy > beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard
11/01/2018 at 07:17

Isn’t that because you aren’t allowed within 500 feet?

Kiltedpadre > hedbutter
11/01/2018 at 07:36

One house gave us hot apple cider spiked with bourbon. It was my favorite house of the night. We knew the people though so it’s not like everyone got some.

Kiltedpadre > ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com
11/01/2018 at 07:38

One house asked the 5yo in our group that question. His response “I’d poopy on your car.”

hedbutter > Kiltedpadre
11/01/2018 at 07:56

Yeah- i’m hoping it will help us meet our neighbors a little bit more (i traveled for my first 3 years here so I dont know them that well) and also just make it a hair better for the parents.

Quadradeuce > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/01/2018 at 08:48

As a parent, I prefer the one piece houses. As it is, my 3 and 5 year old hauled in a full grocery bag of candy. Thankfully our school does an “excess” candy collection to send to the troops.

Roundbadge > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/01/2018 at 08:50

Our town holds Trick-or-Treat the Saturday before Halloween. Our block is consistently one of the busiest in a town of 50k people, and usually looks like a riot for those two hours. It’s not uncommon for us to go through more than 20 bags of candy. Most streets in our neighborhood have maybe 4 or 5 houses participating. Ours has almost all participating. We’re a suburb of a larger city, and that city holds their ToT the same night, but it ends an hour earlier...so they all come up to our town. It always gets busier in the second hour.

That’s when the maddening stuff starts happening...kids walking up, getting candy, then going to the back of the line (yes...a line up our driveway), taking off their mask or part of their outfit, then asking for more candy.

“You already got candy!”
“No I didn’t!”
“You took your wig off.”
“I don’t have a wig!”
“YOU’RE HOLDING IT.”
“Aww, man...”

If it was up to me, we wouldn’t do it. The boss likes to though, so we do it. We always have a party and a fire pit, with friends bringing their kids over to go through the neighborhood, so we’re pretty generous with what we hand out. The possibility of refreshments for adults has been floated a couple of times...but I like the small amount of lawn I have and don’t want it turned into a mud pit.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/01/2018 at 08:57

I lived on THE trick or treat street in town one year. People actually come from the next town over to hit up this street. We went through $300 in candy with a two piece limit.

You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/01/2018 at 09:06

Next year have the mega bar of Exlax handy. First kid to complain that they didn’t get enough candy from you gets the special chocolate .

punkgoose17 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/01/2018 at 09:27

We were not able to be home last night, and the dog is easily scared so we just left a bowl out. We were surprised any candy was left let alone 2/3 of the candy was still there.

ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com > Kiltedpadre
11/01/2018 at 10:02

I like it. That kid would’ve gotten all the candy from me.

My bird IS the word > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/01/2018 at 12:20

Only one piece?

Not with an attitude like that you little shit. Have an apple

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > The Dummy Gummy
11/01/2018 at 18:10

lol, no. I live in Australia.